Moment Of Truth… Can I Do This Business? Do I Have What it Takes?
You’re standing on the precipice of starting a new business, with a million thoughts going through your head. Can I really do this? Am I good enough? Do I have what it takes?
I can’t think of anyone that I have ever worked with, who hasn’t had these questions.
The decisions you make in those moments may determine the outcome of the rest of your life.
Are You Invalidating Yourself?
This series of videos that I’ve recently released all have to do with self-invalidation.
Of all of these self-invalidating reasons to not do network marketing, there’s only one that I didn’t have when I first got started in the business.
That was, “Tried it before, and it didn’t work,” obviously because I had never done the business before, so I couldn’t have that thought.
I went on to build a network marketing business and sold over a billion dollars of products. Eventually, I sold that business back to the company, and then years later I decided to start and build again.
On the second time around, I did have that self-validation but it was slightly different for me. It was: “I tried it before and did it successfully, but can I do it again?”
If you too, have had some of these invalidating thoughts, I want to set you at ease. I’m trying to set you at ease and offer some suggestions for you to get through them.
The first thing that you have to do is consider all of these self-invalidating thoughts:
- I’m “not a salesperson”
- I “tried” it before – didn’t work
- I “can’t do” it
- I “don’t have” time
- I “don’t have” money
- I “don’t know” how to…
- I “don’t know” anybody that…
The first video I did on this was all about Pessimism vs Optimism and is titled “The #1 Reason People Don’t Join Your Business”. It has to do with when a person throws out an idea and then they immediately have an idea back that it’s going to be difficult, or that it’s going to be too expensive.
If it stops the person, then they never even try, and that is sad, and it probably causes more failure than anything else in the world.
The reason for failure isn’t because of the opportunity, or the products, or your location. The reason for failure was because that person is pessimistic, and they just decide right there: “Can’t do it.”
That’s the reason I named this video: The Moment of Truth.
Pessimism
The grandfather of pessimism was Arthur Schopenhauer. He said to the effect of: “I can’t win. Therefore, the only victory is in refusing to try to win.”
There’s a lot in that statement.
You throw out an idea, you get a recoil back that says that it might be expensive, or difficult and instead of going ahead and accomplishing it and confronting whatever comes your way, you first assume that you can’t do it.
“I don’t have time.”
“I don’t have money.”
“I can’t.”
Therefore, the only victory that you can actually sit with is in refusing to try to win.
I know it’s harsh, and I’m not trying to be mean to anyone in this conversation at all. It’s just that if you really take each piece and you put it on a piece of paper or on a whiteboard and you begin to move this stuff around as independent things, you’ll look at it and come to the same conclusion.
You invalidate yourself before you even try.
And you’re not going to try because there’s a victory in never having to show that you couldn’t do it. It’s a little crazy.
I’ve failed many, many times in a lot of things.
I didn’t make the wrestling team in junior high school.
I didn’t make the football team even though I tried out for it.
Those failures would cause these invalidations to come up. I had every one of these objections.
There’s another concept on this and that is that people decide on emotion and justify it with “logic” that isn’t logical. A person says, “I don’t think I can do it,” and then they say, “I don’t have time.”
That was my experience when I first started, and now I would say to past Tim, “Let me just get this straight. You have time to make $1,500 a month, but you don’t have time to make $150,000 a month?”
Since when do I not have time to go after a business that I could do that could make that? Since when do I not have the money? I turn around and look at my garage. I have a whole bunch of stuff. I have a storage unit. I’m paying for somebody else to keep my stuff that I don’t use. Tell me there’s not enough money to buy the skincare kit that I had to buy.
It doesn’t make any sense, but a person would decide they can’t do it, just like that. That is pure self-invalidation.
They don’t even know that they can’t do it.
Decide On Emotion, Justify With Logic
Deciding on emotion. The emotion is “I can’t do it. I’m afraid of failing.” That’s the decision, and then you justify it with logic.
“I can’t do it. I don’t have the time,” That’s what I would say to myself. I’d justify it with one of these things that we’re calling “logic,” that isn’t even logical. That’s the truth.
Who You Are Now and Who You Will Become
Now, your habits and routines deliver your current results. Whatever it is, for example your weight, if you’re underweight or overweight, your habits and routines deliver your current results. It could be no other way.
Identity is a composite of your habits and routines. It can’t be anything more than that. It doesn’t matter who you think you are, bigger or smaller (not weight-wise, but just you as a person). That’s hard to confront. I get it.
“Wait a minute. I thought I was the king!”
Not quite, because your habits and routines are not king-like. That is the truth of it.
Who you are now is based on your habits and routines.
See Yourself Doing Future Routines and Habits
For who you will become in the future, it’s vital to see yourself doing future habits and routines to become the new you.
Let’s say someone shares a business idea with you , and your immediate reaction is to recoil back and say, “I can’t do it.” There’s a whole lot of self-invalidation going on right there. It’s pessimism at its definition.
But what if, you were to come back and say instead, “What would I need to learn?” That’s optimism. That’s the fundamental difference.
“What assets do I have? Well, I have this person who’s willing to show me a business. I have this person who’s willing to train me. There are five people up the line that also would be willing to train me. I have people that are giving me knowledge on this subject.”
There are assets all around. When a person self-invalidates, they block off all assets that they could have used.
Goals vs Habits and Routines
Let’s say that you’re making $50,000. Your current habits and routines have gotten you to $50,000. If you want to make $100,000, what are you going to have to do?
It’s vital to see yourself doing future habits and routines to become the new you. That’s the only possible way.
Any time something comes back as an excuse, you have to grab hold of it, because that thing is holding you back in more than just this.
This Pipeline is something I show in every video. It’s what everyone has to do in any business.
In any walk of life, you have to do these steps: Generate leads, contact, set an appointment, do a presentation, follow up, get a customer or a rep, service them, and you make money.
Every politician has to do it. Every college has to do it. Everyone has to do these steps of the Pipeline.
If you made $50,000 and you want to make $100,000, then you’re going to have to change actions on this board, and you have to see yourself doing those actions.
Whatever recoils back you’re going to have to grab that thing and look at it and say, “Wait, is that real? Is that logical?” Because you’re making decisions on it, even though it may not be logical.
You’ve got to look at things:
“Wait a minute, now. I do have the money.”
“Wait a minute, now. I do know people. I mean, there are 7 billion people on the planet. Surely I can find somebody.”
It’s that simple to just, whatever recoils back in your mind as self-invalidation, look at it, examine it.
Here’s the current situation. This is what your goal is. You’ve got some arrows pointing to it, like when you say, “Well, huh, maybe I could look at this,” but you’ve got a lot of dispersal arrows. All of you is not going in the same direction. There are three green arrows going toward the goal, but there are a whole lot of arrows that are dispersed, of thought and actions. You’re dispersed. It’s not clear to you exactly what the steps are: What do I have to absolutely do? What routines do I really need to change? What habits do I have to get in?
You Want Alignment
What you’re really wanting is alignment.
These are thoughts plus actions in alignment. When you get that in line, it’s just smooth. Then you just do the pipeline with no drama. That’s all there is, and there ain’t no more.
That’s from an old song called Hot Rod Lincoln. It’s just a funny song. My dad used to always use that expression: “That’s all there is, and there ain’t no more.”
That, in my world, is what I’m always trying to do. To help people is to get all of their arrows in alignment and their actions to equal that. It’s not enough to set a goal. It’s part of the equation, but it’s not all of it.
The Moment of Truth Is to Project Success
Imagine you are a football player. The football is the idea. You throw out your idea on your calendar of what you’re going to do today, tomorrow, the next day, etc. You throw out that idea. What recoil do you get when you write it in your calendar? This is what you’re looking for. It’s the moment of truth.
If it is failure, you have to solve it.
You have to look at it in a positive light, an optimistic light.
You go, and you do it.
If you succeed, you laugh. If you fail, laugh. It’s all the same.
The Pipeline is just doing those actions. Yeah, you’re a little bit happier if you succeed, but in the end, you’re just going to keep doing it.
If you celebrate too much, you’re almost acting as though you didn’t expect that result. And when you don’t have success, if somebody says no, and you were hoping they would say yes, laugh.
When somebody signs up, laugh. Just smile.
That’s all. That is the way that I worked it out.
Projecting Failure
Can you help a person who is projecting failure, the pessimist? Can you help them?
I will remind you how I started this presentation. I had all of those objections, every one of them, at one time or another.
I wasn’t such a positive-minded person. I wasn’t looking at success. I didn’t have this knowledge at that time. It’s why I feel that this is probably one of the most valuable videos that I’ll ever do. It gets you to realize when you’re doing this self-invalidation.
I had all those objections and Rick Mayo, the gentleman who brought me into network marketing, saw in me what I didn’t.
I have tried the rest of my life in this industry to do that, and sometimes, even most of the time, it doesn’t work. The person is too pessimistic. I can’t get the person past that.
I’m talking about whether to join, or once they get in, to stay in and to realize the simplicity of the pipeline. They see it as failure on every step:
“I don’t know how to find leads.”
“I don’t know what to say to the person.”
“I don’t know what to send them.”
“I sent it to them and they didn’t look.”
It’s just constant recoil, and so they leave. They say, “I’m out. It’s too hard. I’m not cut out for this. This isn’t me.” Whatever that self-invalidation turns out to be.
I’m not able to help everybody. We’re in a dichotomy aren’t we? A conundrum. Help or don’t help? Help or dismiss?
My Rule
Here is my rule: If they’re willing to do the Pipeline, then I will help them. When they stop doing the pipeline, I will try some more, but if they will not do it, then I can’t help them.
Rick saw in me what I didn’t. And I see in others the same thing he saw in me, but I can’t get them to see that. I have to step back because it’s a lot of lost production to try to prop somebody up that just keeps on invalidating themselves.
I Can Help You
I had a bit of history with that. This is Timmy.
(My sister’s the only person allowed to call me that, by the way.)
I had a dream of that bike.
I walked through Sears Roebucks & Company, and it was the first bike that had disc brakes, and I thought it was the coolest thing I’d ever seen in my life.
I set a goal and a target, and I tried to get that. And I did do that. I’m talking about mowing yards to get $3 for mowing the yard. It would take me a couple of years to get $112 for that bike.
When I would be dragging that lawnmower with a milk jug gas can on the handle, my buddies would be playing in the street and they would say stuff to me like, “Come on, man, play ball.”
I said, “No, I want to get this bike. I want to get this bike,” for two years.
Then when I came flying through there on my bike, they said, “Oh, you’re so lucky to have a bike.”
I said, “No, no, no, no.”
I even tried to help my buddies. One time, I had this other kid on the back of my bike. I didn’t have a place to sit, so I would stand up and pedal.
I said, “Man, we have to get you a bike. I’ll show you how to do it.”
The first day we walked and knocked on doors, and my friend said, “It’s too far to walk. I don’t want to do it.”
I tried everything. I was willing to let him use my lawn mower. I would do half the work, but he wasn’t willing to do it. And I just didn’t understand it.
Then I got into the Navy.
There’s a problem that you have in the Navy when you’re on a ship, which is that you don’t have a vehicle. How can you date? Picking up a date in a cab is not cool. Today we would have done Uber, but back then it was just really not cool. I wanted to get a Jeep. It was $6,300 that I had to pay for that Jeep.
So I worked. I would walk around a mall and I would take a business card, and I would look at the car and see if there were any door dings. If there were door dings, I would give a quote and I would put the quote into the windshield wiper. They would call me and I scheduled it for Saturday because that was the only day I could do it. And then I would go in and I would Bondo and I would paint. I would make money that way to get that Jeep.
My buddies said, “Oh man, it’s so cool that you have a car! I wish I had a car.”
I said, “I can help you.”
This was in Hawaii, and there was a mall in a circle. I would walk in between all those cars, around the whole thing.
“Six hours walking around a parking lot! This is stupid.” That’s what my best friend said. “I’m not doing this. There’s no car worth that.”
I tell this to you because if somebody won’t do the pipeline, I can’t help them. If somebody is going to come to that conclusion that quick (I’m talking about they’re saying that on the first day), then I can’t help them. I think that that’s probably the primary piece that has to go down.
Once I got into network marketing part-time, my friends, when I joined a skincare company, said, “Tim, you’re a sissy.” They cut me down for it. “What happened to you, man?”
We all in the EOD community, in the military still know each other. After I got to $150,000 a month, I taught a certificate course on this at the University of Illinois, Chicago, was interviewed by Larry King and Grant Cardone, made many, many millions of dollars, somebody in the community said, “I heard you won the lottery.”
I said, “Yeah, I did.” I just left it at that, because that’s the way that they viewed it.
If They Will Learn the Pipeline, You Can Help Them
I wanted to walk all that through, because you may have to handle other people’s opinions of you and not adopt them, because now you’re self-invalidating yourself.
Somebody said, “You’re a sissy because you sell skincare.” Then if I adopted that idea, I didn’t, but if I had, then it would have stopped me.
It did mess with me, in the beginning. I had to look at that and I remember thinking, “When I go into a department store, I always see these beautiful girls that are working at the skincare line, but I wonder who owns the line of products? I wonder who owns those companies (Chanel, for example)?”
I viewed myself in a different light. I’m doing the selling part for a period of time so that I really truly understand the customer, but there’s going to be a point in time where I’m going to be teaching other salespeople. That’s the way I adopted that as a concept in my head so that I wouldn’t invalidate myself.
Every Business Does the Pipeline
In the end, and it’s always just going to come back to this simplicity. It doesn’t matter if you go and get a franchise, it doesn’t matter what you do, you’re going to end up doing a pipeline in some way.
I’ve just never seen a business that had the ability for a person to conquer so much and to achieve so much, as network marketing. If they will learn the pipeline, you can help them.
If not, they probably really have too much to learn in personal development for you to be able to help them.
I have a very patient heart, if you want to call it that. I love people. More than anything, I love to help people.
I have many, many, many millionaires on my team and I think that patience has a whole lot to do with it, but I do tend to waste time.
I just wanted to share both sides of that equation with you, because you’re going to have to balance it in the beginning. If you try to help everybody, that’ll end up slowing you down so that you never quite get going.
The number one objection that I have from leaders is, “My people aren’t doing anything.”
I say, “Just keep doing the pipeline.” And that’s why I say, if they are willing to learn the pipeline, you CAN help them.
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